You are their first teacher. You may not have realized at first, but that's what you definitely are.. But it is what it is. And that's exactly what it is. Do you know how many times my kids have said something that came straight from my mouth? And sometimes - this'll freak you out - they will say something that you were thinking. It's because they've been learning from you and they soak it in. And so whatever you show them (teach), they will learn. So now that that's settled, let's focus on the "what do we do with it." It reminds me of that 90's song "Now that we found love what are we gonna do with it?" In other terms, What kind of Teacher are you going to be? That's a great question! My answer was this: I wanted to be their favorite teacher! No matter what the subject - academics, social, or behavioral - I just wanted to make good memories of spending time together. When you spend time with someone, does the activity matter more or is the conversation enough?

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First thing I would like to say is that being a Teacher requires learning on your part as well, so expect to go through some changes along this journey. Ultimately, they will remember your actions over your words.

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So here are a couple of things to consider: 

 

#1 Some things will be easy to teach

These are the things you KNOW are coming at you such as - What is right, what is wrong, What do you eat, what do you not eat. These are more instinctual, and more of a reaction to an action rather than a well though out plan.

For instance, if you see your child reach their hand towards a closing door - lesson time! If you see them try to taste an electrical socket - lesson time! If they are trying to put their pants on 2 legs at a time - lesson time! 

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There are the easy ones. But, if I could recommend something to you (as I'm doing everywhere on my website without your permission anyways), I would say to be very mindful of these lessons - because even though they may require less thought, it is still practice for you for when the harder lessons come. For instance, in regards to the closing door scenario. You could speak directly and clearly to the child and make sure they understand the relationship of their hands and other objects. Or you can use your own hand to display the result of the door closing (just take it easy on your hand), or you can do like my mom and just wack my hand as if I stole something.) ***Not recommended or promoted.

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However you decide to address the situation, know that it is building your communication skills as a Parent, so be sure to utilize the moment for both your child and yourself.

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#2 Some things will need a planned approach

When it came time for my son to potty train, I decided that I was going to have him sit on the potty every single time. I don't care if boys can stand up when the pee, I am in charge of cleaning the bathroom and I am not risking him missing and spraying all over the floor and what have you. I mean, why make my cleaning harder than it has to be. Additionally, I would use the potty the same way he did so that I can further the example. In fact, after he mastered going potty (does any boy/man ever really master going potty?), I saw him going potty standing up... in my bathroom. And I looked at him like "Oh helllllllllll no."

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"Um, excuse me, Son..." I said calmly, as I held the rage inside of me, "Who told you to stand up when you pee?" He told me that is the way He does it at school because of the urinals. And so I furthered explained to him "Yes, that is totally fine to go potty that way at school (I mean, I'm not cleaning it up, so He could pee directly into the floor drain if he wanted it - not that I would condone it, but I'm just saying that the drain could have multiple purposes.) But I had to reiterate to him... in OUR HOUSE... you sit down. Every. Time. Please. And thank you. Because...no, a boy/man does not EVER master going potty standing up. 

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Whether you are teaching to pee, or teaching ABC's, a planned approach is very useful because it keeps you consistent in your teaching. The lesson may be easy, but never underestimate how planning can make the lesson more effective.

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#3 Some things you have to learn before you Teach.

When you get past the potty stage, and the "don't put that in your mouth" stage (does anyone ever get past that stage?), you will reach the stage of "Wait, I don't even know that yet." BUT, you still have to know it, because your kid will still ask you. And I know you're not the type of parent to say "They will figure it out" because YOU are awesome and an overachiever. So what happens then when you don't know the answer? Well, you find out! And this is where Parenting becomes a two-way street of teaching. You have to learn in order for them to learn. Now don't get all snippy about it, it's actually great for your brain health because you are learning something new or reconnecting with something for a deeper understanding (both create stronger neural connections in your brain.) Here's an example: When my daughter began her first menstrual cycle - hooraaaay! I knew, but I didn't know about menstrual cycles. So what did I do? I researched it. Now, there's a difference between "I googled it" and "I researched it". When you research something, you are putting a strong effort into the subject, not just trying to quickly define it. So first of all, I had worked in a Physician's office for almost 5 years, in which the patients were addressing hormonal imbalances, so I was comfortable with the topic, I just never had to have the conversation with an 11 year old. What I ended up doing (the first day that I found out her aunt flow visited), I found a nice website and video to appropriately explain it and we watched together. With the help of that, I was able to address the subject more in depth with my daughter. Here's the website, btw ( https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/menstruation.html ).

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If you need to research a topic before being able to teach your kids about it, make sure you take your time with it, make sure your resources are valid, and see if you can practice on someone else so they can give you some feedback on your approach. In our information age, there is nothing that you cannot learn, so don't do your kid any disservice by playing the "I don't know" card because you will both be missing out. If they learn early on that you have the answers or that you are willing to find the answers, they will more likely be comfortable in seeking your opinion. 

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Don't you agree?

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