Though it may be far from child-appropriate, there is a song from The Notorious B.I.G. called "Everyday Struggle" - and whatever your opinion is on rap and hip-hop (see my article on "Poetry for the Poor") this song cannot be ignored when it comes to the connection that all people have when going through a psychological struggle in their life. Some of us struggle with finances, some of us struggle with relationships, some of us struggle with expectations... whatever our struggle is within us, it has an affect on us that no one can modify or change except for ourselves. What may seem miniscule to one person can be severely overwhelming and debilitating to another. However, the similarity is present within all of our personal struggles, which is that it can be difficult to see past and overcome.

 

As an example - I am one of the most optimistic people you may ever know. 97.9% of my days, I wake up with the intentions of having a positive-thinking day and placing good karma out into the world in order to initiate the process of good karma being returned to me. But 96% of my days I wake up to a reality that provides me with little physical evidence to reflect the benefits of my optimism. This is due in large part of my psychological upbringing of my social structure. I know this now, but 40 years into my life, it's difficult to just simply steer the ship into the right direction. For instance, one of the most prevalent words that has come to define a person in the society that I have grown up with is: Success. And the problems that I struggled with through so many years of my life derived from my definition of success. Or - more specifically - my lack of definition of success. That was it... I never defined success in the first place. I had displays of OTHER people's definitions of success. But it was never my own; it was never a definition that was personally tailored to me as an individual. 

 

We don't always need to know the exact details of a person's life to understand WHY it is they struggle, we just need to know that everyone does struggle in their own right. And the smallest acts of support can make a significant difference to them. Good Karma is great. Take a moment to positively acknowledge others, to respect others, and to contribute to others. And the goodness will be returned to you. And with that thought, I wrote a letter to a good friend of mine the other day in which I discussed Success in a context that intended to promote my love and support for them as an individual. Here it is...         

 

 

HEY... I JUST WANTED TO TAKE A MOMENT TO ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT A  GREAT PERSON YOU ARE. There is a quote that goes “Successful people are people that are willing to do the things that unsuccessful people aren’t” And in my eyes, this applies to how you are willing to do thing such as take care of your mom, take care of your niece, take care of my kids, take care of me, and take care of yourself. You are also very thoughtful of others (such as your close friends and those whom you may come into brief contact with).

 

I believe that You and I have been brought up to only tie the word “success” to some type of academic or financial achievement – or something on a large scale. The problem with this is that if we do not accomplish something within that specific frame we do not see ourselves as successful. Which in turn, dismisses a confidence that can lead to confidence and self esteem. And in life, those two things can make a significant difference, no matter how small we think it may be.

 

At this point in my life and with the experience that I have been through, I now know that success is “doing the things that unsuccessful people won't” In our case it is taking care of our family, being kind to others, being kind to ourselves. Even some of the richest people in the world don’t do those things. Probably because it’s some of the hardest shit to do! I mean, starting a fortune 500 company could seem so much easier than getting your mom to NOT think negative. LOL! Or getting the kids to NOT want to be on their tech devices. But we make that effort. And that’s what makes us successful people in our own right, and that’s what You and I should be proud of. We don’t have to do it perfectly – the quote doesn’t include “…have to do it RIGHT” or “…have to do it perfectly..” it simply says that we are willing to do it – whether it results in a win, lose, or draw. Acknowledging this success that we have attained AND WE CONTINUE TO ATTAIN is very critical in our mindset moving forward. Don’t neglect it, brother. Remind yourself of it everyday. It is one of the most important discussions we can have with ourselves and can be the difference in the thin line between our happiness and our frustration.

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I see you struggle with things from helping and dealing with your family to your own medical conditions (cut the feet off!!!). And though I sometimes look for the right words to bring uplift you in those times, the absolute truth is that you are just fine on your own. The uplifting is already in you – as you continuously display this towards others (see my intro paragraph). I even sometimes feel foolish trying to remind you of what a great person you are, because you should (and I know that you do) already know this and believe this 100%.

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However here I go again since I feel it's been awhile since I last addressed it... whatever struggles you go through – whether physically, emotionally, or mentally – remember that YOU are a success to be where you are right at this moment. And YOU continue to be a success with the very action of you being awake for a new day. You can’t do wrong brother. Whatever decision that you make, and whatever action you take is the right decision and the right action as You are supposed to be. I – personally – wouldn’t want you any other way. And I know that my kids wouldn’t want you any other way – and for anyone who loves you and continues to stay by your side until this day and in the future days – I know that they wouldn’t want you any other way.

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In it's essence, this note is to to thank you for what you do for Me and my kids on a psychological and emotional level. And going further… I want to thank you on behalf of your mom, Rebecca, your brother, and your dad – because they just don’t have the capacity to tell you on their own (it’s not their fault). And in it's essence, this note is to remind you that You are such a great success in life because you choose to do the things that are important to you.

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Keep your head up, brother. You and I have made it this far in our respective lives that it would be silly for us to stop now – when the best versions of ourselves are still yet to come.

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We love you.       

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This is one of my favorite speeches because I think It defines how people should not be compared others, and it touches on how every individual is their own beauty and their own success.  

 

https://youtu.be/zk--XN4ozr8

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