Influence, when you think about the affect on children, is a very powerful tool in development of a person's life.

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A big part of parenting is being able to have the right influence over your kids. Of course that phrase can be subjective. But, in all, are you able to have more influence on your children than all other influences? 

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It is said that a Leader is one who has great influence on others and it's in the fashion that they use that influence which brings great reputation. If you are able to have more influence on your children than the external influences from society, it will make a significant difference in your parenting efforts. You are exemplifying leadership qualities to your children by exposing them to these successful traits. 

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The way I see my influence on my kids is with the ways I communicate with them and interact with them. I've created a bond with them since birth as my favorite little creatures. I feel that they sense that too. And so I keep as honest and open with them as much as possible so they always know that they are always my first choice in life. I'm very supportive in their conversations and never turn them away - hoping they know that I am always available for them. I think at their age now, they are very trusting in me, and that allows a lot of my influence to stick with them.

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One of my (simpler) ways I've influenced the kids is in their fascination with beautiful beaches and surfing. I've always talked about my brother (and their uncle) who loved to surf and lived near a beautiful beach in Australia. And, of course. I painted a fantastic picture for them that they enjoyed. 

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I feel like I'm a helpful and giving person. It seemed like something natural passed down to me and I'm passing it down to them. I can go back to my childhood days and recount giving cash to an apparent homeless person. It stays with me to this day, when not too long ago, me and my daughter passed a homeless man asking for food on our way into the store. And when we were inside, I picked up a ready to eat sandwich and told my daughter "this is for that person outside". When we walked to pass them again, I gave it to the person and they thanked me. I told my daughter that it doesn't always have to be big when you give, and it doesn't have to be all the time, but you should look to give and help whenever you can. 

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Moments like these make me hope that the influences I provide for the kids are more genuine and rewarding.

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Of course there are probably HUNDREDS of other influences that we pour on them including, but not limited to:

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1. Our language - good and bad

2. Our dress habits - good and bad

3. Our eating habits - good and bad

4. Our hygiene habits - good and bad

5. Our attitude - good and bad

6. Our personality - good and bad

7. Our hobbies - good and bad

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These take up a big chunk of their daily influences, but it doesn't take much time for a child's brain to be invaded with a thought (I can sing about 4 kid's TV commercials). But with many kids very tech savvy and on the internet, the TV commercials aren't the only sources. It's kind of like that old saying "it's about quality not quantity" in this case. The influence doesn't have to take long if the message is strong enough. And these usually tie into when kids are in a vulnerable mental state. So be sure to never allow your kids to be on the internet when they are upset as it could more enticed to go astray. And on the internet, you can go to many extremes of astray in seconds. These are one of the many influences that we, as parents, battle. 

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Regardless of how you become the primary influence to your kids, be sure to use it as a loving and caring tool in the development of a long term relationship with them. And remember, YOU yourself have to BE the influence that you are trying to pass on to them. If they don't see it in your actions, they are less likely to reenact. 

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Take Care!

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